What I've written to express what my mom meant to me and who she was doesn't seem to be adequate. I feel I would need to work with a good author to truly express my feelings for her. The things I write are not embelleshments; she truly was a loving, giving person that so many will miss.
We were connected. When I was with her, it was like I was home. There was a safety with her. I could fully be myself. A part of me died with her. Her prayers for me and my family came daily to the Lord and I and I know He will continue to bless us because of her prayers.
My Mom was a beautiful woman. She gave love to everyone around her. She really didn't have any reservations. She longed to make a difference in the lives around her. The heartbeat of my Mother was her faith, she longed to share God's love with young girls or anyone who was hurting. She knew firsthand how He brought peace and hope to broken abandoned people.
She grew up in the cottonfields of the San Luis Valley. The whole family would work through the heat of the day battling stinging thorns and hornets. She told me some of her brothers antics. Tommy an Bobby would put dirt clods in their cotton sacks to make them weigh more (for more money!) Once they convinced her (at 7 years old) to ride down a hill in a radio flier wagon! They begged her not to tell but she did anyway.
As a young teen she was baptized, she said she experienced His Love and His presence like never before.
Many were insistent on being cruel to her in High School. Her older sister died in a car accident at the tender age of 16. The whole family was devistated to lose their beautiful Donna. This tragedy would affect her and her family in the years to come.
In her first marriage her husband (my father) treated her horribly. For the both of us she decided we would leave and move to a bordering State; Washington State. There she raised me.
She went through much hardship and pain in her life but relied on the strength the Lord gave her to love others. She was truly a light for Him.
She endured teenage rebellion and heartache from me, her daughter, financial troubles, two nightmare divorces, a move to Oklahoma, putting a daughter through College, and she did this alone. Though she had endured much hardship, she found meaning in befriending elderly ladies and others in need. She got involved in ministries, and she was faithful in her prayer and devotional life. SHE SURVIVED.
She had her share of hardships in life. But she found her source, her strength. Her worth was in the Lord. I know she wants all of us to forgive the person who took her life. Please honor her wishes and find the strength found only in Jesus to forgive. Bitterness is a cancer that deteriorates the soul pulling down everyone around you. Through all the things done to her and the pain she endured, she didn't hold even a trace of bitterness in her heart toward anyone. She believed that was the path to life. SHE FORGAVE.
I understood my Mom. She and I were more like sisters. We loved to talk weight loss, my kids and shopping. We shared what God was doing in our lives. She and I spoke the same language. Sometimes playing with my kids "this little piggy" and the like- I have this epiphinous moment. "I am my mom!" Our laugh is the same, our play is the same. And the joy she had would fill my heart as well. In many ways she was my best friend.
Living alone in a small apartment she decided she was done being single!! She prayed about seeking a mate and felt God gave her the green light. When she met Hap, she was giddy like a school girl. The two of them hit it off so fantastically they were married in three weeks!! Hap was not much with words, but you could know his heart by his kind actions and giving. The church is down one fantastic base player. She so admired Hap and enjoyed building a life together with him. With enthusiasm she played guitar an led worship with Hap. She learned drums and began to learn piano. She loved the home Hap had built for them. The companionship they shared meant so much to both of them. They loved traveling together. They went to New Zealand, Mt. Rushmore, N. Dakota, California, and recently the Hoover Dam among other places. I have never seen my Mom as happy as she was those last three years of her life spent with Hap. Mom never chose defeat, depression or negativity throughout her whole life; she chose joy. SHE LIVED
She truly knew that living was about giving, not taking. She taught me how to care about people. She was committed to overlooking peoples faults while hoping for the best to grow in them. You should have seen her with her Grandkids. She treasured them and adored them. In typical fashon she couldn't restrain her desire to spoil! She wanted the best for me and my family with all of her heart. If I was sad, she was upset and would pray for me earnestly. And she loved Hap deeply.
Many tried to take advantage of her and I didn't give her credit. Her endless tolerance annoyed me. I often thought she was weak, but as I grew older I came to understand she was simply wise. SHE LOVED
I try not to think of her last moments on earth. But I know somewhere between realizing she was dying and the time she ascended, she smiled.
She smiled because she knew that sooner than expected she would see with her own eyes her beloved Savior Jesus Christ. She wnt home into the arms of her savior who treasured her. They would be united.
She smiled because she had no regrets. She followed the Lord with all her Heart, Mind and Strength. She would soon hear "Well done my good and faithful servant." I know she is so happy in Heaven with her Dad, her Grandma she loved so dearly, her sister Donna, other family, her dear friend Winnie whom she had lost to cancer and best of all with her precious Jesus. SHE LIVES
I love you mom. I'll see you again. Juda
"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Just wait and see
So between now and then 'til I see you again
I'll be loving you